March is always a fun month for me. It’s National Nutrition Month (I’m a dietitian); Women’s History month (I’m a woman!); Social Worker and Kidney Month - both relaying back to my daytime work. It’s also my birthday month, so naturally I spend more time reflecting.
And this month marks another year of my mom’s passing. This is the 11th. I share bits and pieces about my mom from time to time, but I thought it would be nice to write more about her and my perspective on life things because of her. This is not meant to be a “feel sorry for me” kind of post - I am grateful for all the years my mom’s been here, but why I hold the importance of celebrating life that much more.
My mom was in her early 40s when she was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme stage 4 (GBM), a type of brain tumor that is malignant. You can imagine the shock, the varying stages of disbelief, anger, worry, we went through. I was in my early 20s at this time, trying to figure out my life like most 20-somethings. Most people don’t live past a year with this condition. My mom lived for seven years, though with multiple brain surgeries, chemo, new and old type of treatments. Maybe it was her youthful spirit that helped, or her laughter, or maybe physically she was younger than most. Prior to this diagnosis, my mom was very entrepreneurial, opening (and closing) restaurants, sold random trinkets at craft events, got certified to be an esthetician, among various other things (I have inherited none of my parent’s business-minded selves). During the times her cancer was in remission, she went to zumba and belly dancing (!) classes, traveled a ton, learned piano; and she was always, always singing.
I attended all of my mom’s appointments, brought her to the ER late at night, helped her in any way that I can. The combination of watching my mom’s battle and journey with this life-taking condition, and simultaneously working with elderly patients at a hospital where I’ve observed often worse-off situations, made me appreciate life and what it means to have a good quality of life in so many ways.
Though there were some instances I’ve said no to certain things because of caretaking for my mom, I also lived life largely during all the times she wasn’t ill. I’ve always been on the side of “life gets better as you get older,” and that is in part due to living with minimal regrets in my 20s. I am grateful for all the years I had with my mom, especially during the last years of her life. My mom, literally radiant (everyone commented on how nice her skin was…she’s all about skincare!) from inside out, showed me to find joys in all the little things. I hope to carry that spirit on.
The ranunculus
This is the first flower that really drew me into the world of flowers, which have now been a theme in a handful of my cards. The first time I discovered this little, delicate beauty was in a bouquet of flowers I bought for my mom when she was first hospitalized. It is in such contrast to my mom’s favorite flower, the stargazer lily. <3